That post title, my friends, was just one of the amazing “thought-questions”posed in Mark Batterson’s upcoming tome.
I put aside both of the books I had been reading and skipped over the one I was suppose to start next to read a pre-released copy of Batterson’s Wild Goose Chase: Reclaim the Adventure of Pursuing God. Once I picked it up for a quick perusal, I was hooked.
He explains the title:
Celtic Christians had a name for the Holy Spirit–An Geadh-Glas, or ‘the Wild Goose.’ The name hints at mystery. Much like a wild goose, the Spirit of God cannot be tracked or tamed. An element of danger, an air of unpredictability surround Him. And while the name may sound a little sacrilegious, I cannot think of a better description of what it’s like to follow the Spirit through life. I think the Celtic Christians were on to something…
The author contrasts animals he got to observe living wild and free while in the Galapagos Islands (which he described as “Edenic” and a place that caused him to feel a great affinity to Adam) in contrast to those he was observing in a zoo a couple of months later. No matter how you slice it, those zoo animals are caged. The whole book plays off the premise that we live our lives in 6 “cages”: responsibility (where God-passions get buried beneath day-to-day living), routine (following our plans, never seeing another way), assumptions (those truths you begin to believe such as I could never…, I can’t…, I’m not…when you are living from your left-brain memory rather than your right-brain imagination). Then there are the cages of guilt (defeat over all our past sin and missteps), failure (doesn’t this one stink?? – trying and failing stops us from ever trying again), and finally the cage of fear (living life on the defense rather than the offense) and goes on to explore both Biblical and modern-day people who were able to break free of those confines.
Each chapter is complete and very-good-sermon-like, but Mark Batterson ties them all very well together as he leads us on the chase for the Wild Goose, living a life of adventure by the leading of the Holy Spirit.
It’s an easy and quick read, with great humor, some interesting character study and poignant story-telling. It’s kind of like Eldridge’s Journey of Desire or The Sacred Romance, but waaaaaaay shorter and more quickly to the point. He writes in a relaxing, conversational way that was not only engaging for the reading, but seemed to invite me into prayer as I read. That is probably what surprised me the most: how much I was drawn into an awareness of the Presence and His leading as I was reading. Batterson really had a way of posing thoughtful questions that immediately caused me to want to hear from God on the issue or confess and repent or ask for an answer or pray a commitment or something. I prayed my way through most of the book. Laughed and cried, too.
In that regard, I wholly recommend this book. It isn’t about earth-shattering new revelation necessarily, but it is a call to that which the Spirit of God speaks to us constantly and we often ignore – due to life’s “cages.” That is why it rings so true, I guess, and why my heart took a fancy to the book, the idea and the call to chase the Wild Goose. http://chasethegoose.com
Read it!…Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF: I am part of something bigger and more important than me: the cause of Christ for this generation.
SOME THINGS I UNDERLINED FROM THE FIRST HALF OF THE BOOK:
We try to make God fit within the confines of our cerebral cortex. We try to reduce the will of God to the logical limits of our left brain. But the will of God is neither logical nor linear. It is downright confusing and complicated. p.2
A part of us feels as if something is spiritually wrong with us when we experience circumstantial uncertainty…But [it] goes by another name: adventure. p. 2
…inverted Christianity. Instead of following the Spirit, we invite the Spirit to follow us. p. 4
…as I looked through the protective Plexiglas window at a four-hundred-pound caged gorilla: I wonder if churches do to people what zoos do to animals. p. 5
Just like the rich young ruler, we have a choice to make…We can stay in our cage, end up with everything and realize it amounts to nothing. Or we can come out of our cage and chase the Wild Goose. p. 10
Chapter Two: Goose Bumps p. 15
A few years ago I figured out how I want to die. p. 15
But I do want to die doing what I love. I am determined to pursue God-ordained passions until the day I die. p. 16
Start praying. Prayer makes us spiritually fertile. And the more we pray, the more passionate we become. Our convictions grow stronger and our dreams grow bigger. p. 26
When Christianity turns into a noun, it becomes a turnoff. Christianity was always intended to be a verb. p. 29
I don’t want to do things I am capable of doing. Why? Because then I can take credit for them. I want to see God do things in me and through me that I am absolutely incapable of so I can’t possibly take credit for them. p. 35
Concerning Nehemiah: If you are faithful in Babylon, God will bless you in Jerusalem. p. 40
Have you ever experienced an epiphany – a moment when God unexpectedly and unforgettably invaded the monotony of your life…The Celtic Christians referred to these kinds of moments – moments when heaven and earth seem to touch – as thin places. Natural and supernatural worlds collide. Creation meets creator. Sin meets grace. Routine meets the Wild Goose. p. 46
One name for God in Rabbinical literature is The Place. p. 47
Altars help us remember what God doesn’t want us to forget. They give us a sacred place to go back to. p. 48
change of place + change of pace = change of perspective p. 50
I know from experience that you can do the work of God at a pace that destroys the work of God in you. p. 53
Sabbath… creates a holy margin in our lives…The word Sabbath means “to catch one’s breath.” p. 54
Hurry kills everything from compassion to creativity. p. 57
We need to quit praying out of memory and start praying out of imagination. p. 60
Has God ever called you to throw something down? Something in which you find your security or put your identity? It’s awfully hard to let go, isn’t it? It feels like you are jeopardizing your future. And it feels like you could lose what is most important to you. But that is when you discover who you really are. p. 65
You have to be willing to let go of an old identity in order to take on a new identity. p. 66
Pride is offended when assumptions are challenged. Humility welcomes the challenge because the desire to know God is greater than the need to be right. p. 75
It’s never too late to become who you might have been. p. 79
I recently stumbled across these internet images from Hillary’s campaign stop a few months ago in Hobart, IN (a Chicago-area community where my brother, Dan and his wife, Dawn still live with their family and attend the church my dad pastored for 18 years).
This is Hillary Clinton with Hobart Mayor, Keith Snedecor (Brian Keith Snedecor, now, I guess) an old church pal from the late 1970’s. He still attends my “home church,” and was just one of the nicest people ever (which he surely got from his very sweet parents).
Keith is proof that you can be a Democrat and still be a Christian impacting the world for Jesus Christ, for those of you who have doubted this.
I remain unaffiliated, however (does this surprise you?), and hope I, too, can impact the world for Jesus Christ…Jeanie
A quick sampling of Heaven Fest through the lense. Thanks to my good friend and HF Media Director, Kori Verspohl, for the sneak peek!
And the day is just getting started!
We were all shaking our heads: they heard – they came. They actually showed up!
This sepia has got to be one of my favorites. You can see the cloud cover we got from the sun, almost feel the movement of worship toward heaven.
My son-in-law, Dave (the heart of the festival), praying with a Skillet guy
Your Kingdom come, Lord
Your will be done
On earth – as it is heaven!
The nameless, faceless band at Main Event? Not nameless, nor faceless in heaven, nor to their mama! My kiddos: Dave and Tara, Steph and Tris, Rocky and Stormie, along with Dan and Marianna (we’ve grafted them in to the family), Louis (Proxy) and Tammy and about 30 of their closest, praying friends!
The enemy has been defeated
Death couldn’t hold You down
We’re gonna lift our voice in victory
We’re gonna make our praises loud!
Note: I have already written about Heaven Fest, here (where I tell how I got here, as well as what happened personally for me there) and here…
PS – on my operating system, at least, if you click on the picture, you get an enlarged look!
I don’t know –maybe it’s just me, but could this be the winning ticket?… Everybody gets to speculate, right? And since the Bible says a person’s gift will make room for them, I’d say Obama owes Oprah, certainly for the Democratic nomination and especially if he becomes our next President. So maybe her gift will make room for her on the Democratic ticket.
Thanks to Stormie for putting my political pondering together for me.
I cannot help it – the Duggars fascinate me. I feel like a voyeuristic intruder when I watch a Discovery Channel special about them, like I am somehow violating their 17 children by just looking at them agape, my jaw hanging low. But I guess they are OK with it. It probably helps pay some bills, so maybe it is OK for me to do my part.
Jim Bob and Michelle (he would have to be “Jim Bob,” wouldn’t he?) have 17 children and are expecting another in January 2009. Michelle’s womb is certainly fruitful and probably worn out, too, but they just keep populating the earth with Godly seed to beat the band.
My brother, Joe, via my Uncle Donald, recently sent an email forward with photos of the Duggar family and their home and lives. It caused me to go back and check out their website, a place I have been on several occasions and once again, speechless, I shake my head.
I really love their house, which I believe was 2 pre-fabs “glued” together in the middle, had professional designers put it together and possesses that which I covet the most – quote from their website: “Not your ordinary in-home central vac system, but an extensive Wet/Dry vacuum system that reaches carpet, tile, concrete, upholstery and most other surfaces. It boasts a full power commercial-style carpet & hard surface cleaning system, just like the pros use! We have the optional car detail kit which allows you to vacuum & shampoo vehicles in the garage. From quick spill cleanup to daily cleaning, the Aqua-Air Wet/Dry is truly a life-saver!”
Yes, hmmm. But in looking at pictures of their home again today, I realized I would need all 17 children to help me keep it that clean and sparkly.
They are very organized and seem like a very genuine, loving family – very open about their faith in Jesus Christ. The Today Show reported that when they made an appearance there, after the 19 of them left the green-room-waiting area, it was cleaner than when they got there. They dress alike a lot just to keep the laundry simpler and they have both a “pretty,” more public kitchen and a “utility” kitchen that looks like a school cafeteria – which is nice, I guess, since they home-school and wouldn’t otherwise get to experience that brand of “fun.”
I came from a family of 5 children (in a forced “outward appearance of holiness” church background) and had 5 of my own (not subject to those “look peculiar” religious rules). I remember when I was pregnant with my 5th, a lady in the mall began chiding us for bringing another child into an over-taxed and dangerous world. We were young enough to stand there and take it, then. I wouldn’t now, but my blessed life speaks for itself. I am surrounded by a loving and ever-growing family (5 “original” kids, plus 3 married-ins, plus 5 grand kids and just getting started!) and I know they are my heritage and blessing from God! That lady in the mall? No way she is enjoying her life as much as me.
But having seen TV specials about, for instance, the Dionne Quints and how media coverage and people’s nosiness hurt them so much, I do worry about the Duggar kids and what it is like for them to be looked at like puppies in a store window, watched with curiosity, paraded about for entertainment’s sake. I hope they will somehow be protected from the negative press and that the Discovery Channel won’t be airing “Duggar Kids Gone Wild” someday, broken children striking back from being American oddities. I hope they’ll become all God has intended since He first began to fashion them secretly in the womb. I hope they each know they are more than part of a curiously large crowd. Unique, special, individuals – and part of the much larger family of God.
But still, for me, fascinating…Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF:Don’t judge. Don’t stare. Pray for them occasion-calling each child by name. Pray that if they should ever wander by this post, my public pondering would not be hurtful…
pictured: The whole family, currently; around the table during Bible time, note the drink station where another family might place a beautiful buffet; the main living area of the house; the “pretty” kitchen; boys dorm-style bedroom; girl’s bedroom; laundry room
Observations of The Sacred Romance – Drawing Closer to the Heart of God (by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge) among a few friends. We hope you’re being blessed as we process and confess and that you’ll let us know what you are thinking, too…
Here is what Jeanie had to say: Amy Jo selected quotes from these chapters and we must very nearly have underlined all the same words in the book, me here in Brighton – she in Broomfield. You can link to her thoughts and writing about these chapters above.
Timid, I never raised my hand in school to ask questions. And that is a whole other blog. But in the past few years, I have realized what a disability it is not to know how to ask a good question. It has limited me in so many ways, as I have done everything the hard way and from scratch rather than learning from other people’s wisdom and understanding.
“…what is God up to in all this?” the author asks about a hurtful situation he once faced, recounted on page 147. And that hit me as a really well-put question, one that could serve me well as I go forward. He says, “In fact, the process of our sanctification, our journey, rests entirely on our ability to see life from the basis of that question.” The writer continues to explain that our lives aren’t a random series of events, but are part of a Divine Story with meaning.
That resonated because about 3 weeks ago, God engineered an emotional “meeting” between me and a painful past memory. I could not understand why it came up or where it came from or why I had to even be dealing with it now, but I faced it and ask God to do any further healing and continued to choose walking in forgiveness. Then a couple of days ago, as I was repenting of some sin and of the taking, or receiving of insult/offense and asking God why on earth I allowed that into my heart from a few random people (the ones that make you cringe when they walk in the room), He took me directly back to the painful, past memory-the one I had chosen to forgive and felt total wholeness in and showed me how they were related. He exposed a vulnerability I felt many years ago, and how I’d taken a martyr’s or victim’s role with abrasive people due to the incident in my formative years.
There isn’t room or time to give full explanation here except to say – there have been people who are in my life from whom I have withheld true relationship and have allowed myself to play a victim to their abrasiveness, rather than to see them as God sees them and to see myself as the blessed non-victim that I am. I have been hurting them. I have been hurting me. And while it was very easy to make them villains, I could’ve told you stories to get you on my side, God wants me free and when He allows these things to come up (“the nits”) and the slightest offense brings an unequal reaction like salt in a paper cut, “hurt feelings” or not, you have to know God is in this! I am going to be referencing that question much more in my life: What is God up to in all this?
Chapter 10 from Heather: Wow—this is a great book! It’s sooo intense, that I will need to read it again, and possibly re-read it. It’s done sooo much for my heart, and yet, I am still feeling raw and exposed. It’s not terrifically convenient, but even as the unattractiveness of my inner self is uprooted, I am finding His peace right there walking me through it! Thank you so much God!
“The Journey” is a very appropriate title for this chapter, because at this point you do have a choice…Are you going to begin this journey with Him, or stay stuck in your smaller story? On page 144, it says this: “Entering into the Sacred Romance begins with a decision to become a pilgrim of the heart. As Gabriel Marcel reminds us, the soul is a traveler: ‘It is of the soul and of the soul alone that we can say with supreme truth that “being” necessarily means “being on the way” (en route).’–We are,” he says, homo viator, which means ‘itinerant man’ or woman on pilgrimage. The choice before us now is to journey or to homestead, to live like Abraham the friend of God, or like Robinson Crusoe, the lost soul cobbling together some sort of existence with whatever he can salvage from the wreckage of the world. Crusoe was no pilgrim; he was a survivor, hunkered down for the duration. He lived in a very, very, small world where he was the lead character and all else found its focus in him. Of course, to be fair, Crusoe was stranded on an island with little hope of rescue. We have been rescued, but still the choice is ours to stay in our small stories, clutching our household gods and false lovers, or to run in search of life.â€
I really love that passage. I know that my journey through this life is a pilgrimage. I know that means I cannot possibly know what lies ahead of me. I know that can be scary, (if I let it be). I hate being fearful though, so I really need to rid myself of everything that hinders my relationship with God so that I can walk in the peace that passes all understanding. I also know that I am en route. I look back on my life and say, “Thank you so much God that I am not who I was then!†In my mind’s eye I see God smiling down on me as a father would, knowing that while I have made some progress, I’m far from done!
“Is anyone in charge? Someone strong and kind who notices us? At some point we have all answered that question ‘no’ and gone on to live in a smaller story. But the answer is ‘yes’—there is someone strong and kind, who notices us. Our Story is written by God who is more than author, he is the romantic lead in our personal dramas. He created us for himself and now he is moving heaven and earth to restore us to his side. His wooing seems less wild because he seeks to free our heart from the attachments and addictions we’ve chosen, thanks to the Arrows we’ve known.†Pg 147-148.
This is what mends my raw and exposed heart. That little excerpt sums it up. As I’ve read through this chapter, God has actually begun to reveal my “attachments and addictionsâ€. More than one exists, and I am deeply saddened to say I’ve gone to them many, many times, before seeking Him. In trying to work through this book I have had to face so many unattractive qualities about myself, it’s weird how I am not in a corner crying over my own depravity. Oh, wait, I think I did do that at one point! All that to say, this Romance is truly what I’ve been looking for. I want this journey, and I just keep asking Him to uproot the things that are deep that keep me from Him.
The question is asked at the end of the chapter, “What is all this for?†This response puts it into perspective: “Jesus said that when a person lives merely to preserve his life, he eventually loses it altogether. Rather, he said, give your life away and discover life as it was always meant to be. ‘Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self’ (Matt. 16:25, The Message). Self-preservation, the theme of every small story is so deeply wrong because it violates the Trinity, whose members live to bring glory to the others. The road we travel will take us into the battle to restore beauty in all things, chief among them the hearts of those we know. We grow in glory so that we might assist others in doing so; we give our glory to increase theirs. In order to fulfill the purpose of our journey, we will need a passion to increase glory; we will need love.”
Amazing. What more can be said, other than, “I am willing Lord!â€
Candi is still working on her responses. They will follow…
Who knew this book would take us all summer?…Jeanie
It is pretty much just an episode that never aired cut up into tiny chunks, but they are ever-so-welcome morsels of fun for this dry, Office-less summer! These characters are my people. I believe I have worked with every one of them.
Last week Tristan posted this youtube of Gavin (4) and Guini (2) re-enacting the scene of Jim and Dwight and the Altoid/Pavlov’s Dog Experiment.
In the actual The Office episode, Jim and Dwight are shown working at their desks when Jim’s computer makes that “bell-sound” and Jim says, “Oh, I have to re-boot, again. Hey Dwight – do you want an Altoid?”
Dwight snears at Jim, “What do you think?” And reaches for the mint.
Then they shoot Jim in the conference room explaining, “In school, we learned about this scientist who trained dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell by feeding them whenever the bell rang. So, for the past couple of weeks I’ve been conducting a similiar experiment.”
They cut back to the co-workers at their desk and the little computer bell going off and Jim asking, “Dwight-want an Altoid?” Dwight says, “OK.” This happens several times until finally, the little bell sound happens and Dwight automatically reaches out his hand.
Jim asks, “What are you doing?”
Dwight, looking confused: “I, I don’t know. Oh, my mouth tastes so bad all of the sudden…”
Jim looks at the camera, satisfied his experiment has worked.
Guini is “Dwight,” her hair parted just like his, but she couldn’t manage being rude to Jim, played by Gav. Everytime he’d give her an “Altoid,” she’d say “thank-you” very brightly. So-here is Gav and Gunin’s take, as taped by their father for their mommy’s birthday.
Jeanie with the grand-kids; Heather the prayer-warrior
These are the observations of The Sacred Romance – Drawing Closer to the Heart of God (by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge) among a few friends. We’re working toward the culmination of our time in this book and already know what the next book will be. E-mail me (Jeanie) if you’d like to participate or want to know more about it. We hope you are blessed as we gab and “confess” and learn from this awesome book and that you’ll let us know what you are thinking, too…
Candi, wise and gentle worshiper; Amy Jo – head of worship and prayer interactions for Heaven Fest (www.heavenfest.com)
Chapter Nine: Less-Wild Lovers
I am kicking it off this time:“In the sadness we feel from the messages the arrows have left, we often get off course and begin to live off our giftedness or our wounded passions and fantasies instead of finding that place of grace in communion with Jesus. What counterfeit lovers have you turned to? Food? Busy-ness? What else? How have they ‘so intertwined themselves with your identity that to give them up feels like personal death?’â€
I haven’t given much thought to any of the rest of the study guide questions, but the one above points out an interesting possibility: that you can live below and away from the beauty of the life God has in mind for you even through your giftedness, your very God-given ability.So that very thing, something meant to bless and be life-giving, can become your obsession, your possession – and end up suffocating you as you try to hang onto to it.
I have specifically seen this happen with ministries, pastors in churches or some one in a leadership position.It is rampant among worship leaders – fearful of everyone else’s talent, they rise up to protect their territories and become miserable in the thing meant to bring joy to the heart of God.Intercessors are often terribly protective of their “prayer ministry.†I’ve been the guiltiest of them all.
The authors call this ‘clinging to position, title or even good works’ something like going to a fair that sells “soul curiosities,â€things that can even be good like attending Bible Studies, attending spiritual retreats or small groups, even joining a church, but become nothing more than a way to quiet the deep longings we don’t want to admit are there.
So here we are – created in love, players in God’s cosmic story of intense joy and love, wooed by Him, longing for Him, but beaten down by apathy and the message of the Arrows, we choose something that “works,†or looks right: we go to church and volunteer and memorize scripture and we “are both drawn to…and fear…that place of relational intimacy that Satan lured Adam and Eve away from so long ago…â€The voice of God calls.The heart of the Father draws.Am I willing to give up everything that has anesthetized me, the addictions the authors expose as “adulteries†– anything that replaces God in whatever form in our lives?Will I give up competence and order, title, reputation and ability to be, to be His.?Can I lay aside fears and talents and impressiveness?Can I die to self?
Here are Heather’s thoughts: I read this chapter a couple of weeks ago now. I have about 4-5 pages of notes on this chapter that I can share with anyone who’s listening. But really I am going to try to bottom line how the “Less Wild Lovers†in my life have caught and tangled me up into a weird mess of “doing†instead of being. (Note from Jeanie: you can link to Heather’s blog from my links on the leftside!)
I am a Martha. Some loved ones in my life have known that for years. I think Martha was trying to do the “right thing,†I really do! She saw all that needed to be done and was busy doing it. She got a bad rap, though, as she wasn’t doing it at the right time, really. There’s a time for all things under the sun, and that goes for cooking, cleaning and laundry too, unfortunately! But she did miss out on being at the Master’s feet. That was the right thing to do at that moment. (See Luke 10:37-42.)
Well, so do I. I look at my house, my job, my kids, the “things†that need to be done, and it can get overwhelming. God’s been calling me to rest for such a long time. At first I thought it meant to rest from ministry. In some ways it did. Then I thought well maybe it means to rest, rest, you know, take it easy. Well, I do think He wanted me to slow down, but you know what, it wasn’t to be on vacation, it was to be with Him. True rest, with God.
Busy-ness has become my less wild lover.
How sad. I mean it. It’s so sad. I like Martha want to do the right thing…Last fall my sister in law left our company to work for the Department of Wildlife in Lakewood . When she left there was a hole there that needed to be filled. I seriously thought that in some ways I was the one to fill that hole. I thought it was the right thing to do. My business partner/mother-in-law/best friend asked me to pray about it, and I didn’t. I was in full rebellion, you could say. Get this, I didn’t pray because I didn’t want to let the company down, and I felt it was my duty to help out (I know, I know- that does not make sense). It’s completely stupid! I admit it, but there ya go, just being honest. Soo… This past 9 months I have been trying soooo hard to make it all work. I have scrambled and grasped at what I thought the right thing was, (still not praying though), and it has worn me down. I’ve been very sad at the compromise of my time with my kids. I’ve not been able to find peace. My health has even been affected, not to mention I’ve not had the rest He’s promised me I would have.
When the time came to begin thinking about the summer schedule with my girls, My business partner/mother-in-law/best friend asked me to pray about it, and this time I—didn’t (YES, I know-what a dumb thing to do, AGAIN!). Well, I got out my little post it note, and asked God to show me what hours to work. I knew already that I had childcare taken care of for about 20 hours each week, but I felt like God was going to let me cut back, as I made out my work schedule. I thought God had blessed it. I presented it to the company and Maureen, my business partner/mother-in-law/best friend said that God had told her that I was going to be taking the summer off. I cried. That is the desire of my heart, friends, to be at home with my kids. But in trying to do the right thing, I had cut myself off from the mission that God has given me for my girls! I was choosing rebellion, in trying to do the right thing, because it simply isn’t right for me, not at this moment in my life.
I’ve only been home a couple of weeks now, but my joy has been restored. I am home and I’m finding rest again. The less wild lover of “being busy†is an evil trap for me. It’s not good for me to run too hard or too fast. I need to slow down and sit at the masters feet again.
&&&&&
Candi’s response to the book:Again, as I read this book I’m astonished at how the authors put so many of my feelings into words.I’m amazed that they’re able to pinpoint my feelings letting me know that I’m not alone.
Page 126 says exactly what I’m learning to understand. “But this side of Eden, even relationship with God brings us to a place where a deeper work in our heart is called for if we are to be able to continue our spiritual journey.It is in this desert experience of the heart, where we are stripped of the protective clothing of the roles we have played in our smaller stories, that the Message of the Arrows reasserts itself.Healing, repentance, and faith are called for in ways we have not known previously.At this place on our journey, we face a wide and deep chasm that refuses us passage through self-effort.And it is God’s intention to use this place to eradicate the final heart walls and obstacles that separate us from him.â€And then they quote Isaiah 45:2-3.
A couple of years ago I went out one night with some old non-Christian friends.We went midnight bowling (they play really loud music!) and it was a really fun time.Towards the end of the night I was just sitting absorbing the atmosphere and thinking to myself, “I’m really enjoying myself probably more than I would if I was at church right now.And all I’m doing is being who I am, no masks, no acts of service, just having fun.Why isn’t it like this when I’m supposedly ‘serving God’?â€
I really think this is when I decided that I wasn’t going deep enough with God.I decided then that I would try to figure it out.If God was the best and the greatest, why wasn’t my heart truly in it?Pg. 128 talks about two highways and this is when I decided to start the journey down the Unknown Road.Of course, I’m still on the journey, but around every bend I’m drawing closer to God in ways that I never knew existed before.
So now in the chapter I come to the “less-wild lovers†and I realize that I’ve dealt with both in my life!At times I’ve chosen the path of competence or order.And then I had kids!!!I can’t keep up with it…it’s too much work!I feel like a failure when my expectations and my results don’t match up which happens a lot.Talk about a blow to your confidence!Then I just quit trying and nothing gets done.I know my mother still struggles with this.(I think I’ll have her read this book!)I also put my efforts into busyness.There are times where I think I should just slow down, but I don’t think I’d know how to function.My life is constantly a struggle to prioritize and I don’t think this is what God had in mind.
I also related with the path of addiction.When I was younger I remember being addicted to new romance, new adventures, new opportunities.“We put our hope in meeting a lover who will give us some form of immediate gratification, some taste of transcendence that will place a drop of water on our parched tongue.†Pg. 133.And they make us feel so alive!It can be a strong temporary high.At some time I think I made a decision to not let myself “feel†anymore because then I wouldn’t have to be disappointed when reality kicked in.It stopped me from trying to find the next adventure, but it also silenced my heart.Now I’m learning to understand the process that God uses to become the object of our affection, our addiction.It so much more fulfilling!
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Amy Jo winds it up for us: “We know He is calling us to give up the less-wild lovers that have become so much a part of our identity, embrace our nakedness, and trust in his goodness.†(p.127)
Once upon a time, when I was studying classic literature in preparation for my English degree, I illustrated a few key scenes from Pilgrim’s Progress. Vanity Fair was one of them, and I appreciated the authors’ in-depth exploration of what that city must have been like in the mind of John Bunyan. As I read how a lot of us resign ourselves to living there, assuming we will never actually GET to the Celestial City, I couldn’t help but think about one of the most influential, respected women alive and impacting our world: Oprah. God knows I love her, and I have a great deal of admiration for all of her humanitarian efforts, but wow, is she a confused woman! I wonder if she really is as happy as she portrays for all of us on international television. I have a sneaking suspicion, based on her random recent explorations into spirituality, that she has become disenchanted with the God of her up-bringing, and is “settling†for less-wild lovers. Read Curtis and Eldredges’ description of Vanity Fair and think of our friend Oprah…
“We set up housekeeping and entertain ourselves as well as possible at the booths in the Fair that sell a variety of soul curiosities, games and anesthetics. The curiosities sold at the fair are endless in their diversity, many of them good in and of themselves: Bible study, community service, religious seminars, hobbies we try to convince ourselves are eternally transcendent (e.g., ‘Wow, I can’t wait to ski deep powder!’), service to our church, going out to dinner. But we find ourselves doing them more and more to quiet the heart voice that tells us we have given up on what is most important to us.†(p. 130)
As I read this, I think of the train she fuels for Eckhart Tolle’s book, A New Earth: Awakening to your Life’s Purpose, and her continuing support of “The Secret,†a “new†way of allowing yourself to achieve your heart’s desires by re-training your mind. One has only to visit the homepage of her website (Oprah.com) to realize that she is SEARCHING… these are the headlines today: “Oprah’s Soul Series Webcast†and “You Can Heal Your Life†and “The Secret Behind The Secretâ€. Oprah is probably inarguably the most powerful woman in our world today—not because she occupies some governmental throne, but because she has been given the throne to peoples’ hearts, winning them one by one through her philanthropic efforts and “open†searching. I wonder how many people realize that they have made her a “less-wild†lover, even as she points them to other “less-wild†lovers. (I know that I myself have been guilty of being romanced by her!)
One more thought on Oprah, before I move on to other things in this chapter: won’t you join with me in praying for her to find again her “Sacred Romancer� Imagine the impact she could have on our lost world, if she were to suddenly declare that she had found what she had been looking for—Someone she once knew—and then proceeded to point the masses to the True Healer! You can bet your chin whiskers that Satan wants nothing more than to keep this lovely and precious, highly-worshipped woman in the dark, as she continues to point others to various “less-wild†lovers. Pray for her with me, will you?
And now for something more personal… “Our adversary also seduces us to abide in certain emotions that act as less-wild lovers, particularly shame, fear, lust, anger, and false guilt. They are emotions that ‘protect’ us from the more dangerous feelings of grief, abandonment, disappointment, loneliness, and even joy and longing, that threaten to roam free in the wilder environs of the heart. These are feelings that frighten us, sometimes even long years into our Christian journey.†(p.132) This particular list of less-wild lovers is by no means complete. One has only to read on in this chapter to see an even longer list of possibilities, including addictions. I now propose that it is possible to be addicted to feelings of guilt and disappointment.
Long ago, I was taught that Christians had no business experiencing “negative†emotions: anger, sorrow, depression, etc. and thus they had no visible place in my life. But they were there. Less long ago, I became convinced that these so-called “negative†emotions were perhaps more valuable than happiness and freedom, because they have a tendency to grab our attention and focus us on God—we learn more from the “negative†emotions than from the “positive†emotions. Today I am willing to say—out loud, on Jeanie’s blog—that perhaps I was wrong. Perhaps ALL emotions are equally valid and valuable; that none are inherently good or evil. Perhaps the thing that matters is how we CHOOSE to be lead by them. Should I feel guilty for being blessed, when so many others in my world are suffering? No. Not as long as I am giving proper credit to the Romancer. Should I feel guilty if I am not happy when enduring hardship? No. But worship is required of my heart in the midst of it. God gave us each of these emotions—placed them squarely in our hearts, which were made in the image of HIS heart!
Forgive me, oh God, for falling for the less-wild lovers of pride, busyness, intellect / philosophy, discipline, vanity, sleep and numbness, guilt, admiration of others, etc. I would so much rather be recklessly, freely, wildly in-love with You. Keep showing me Who You REALLY are! “Batter my heart, Three-Personed God!†(John Donne)
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I am so grateful to Candi and Heather and Amy Jo for sharing their hearts with me. We only have 3 chapters left in the book, but a lifetime full in continuing to discover God’s heart!…Jeanie
NOTE TO SELF:His, and His alone. No ministry, church work, “should” or anything else can replace the love of my life.
We are currently reading and responding to the chapter I have most wanted to get to in our book club selection, The Sacred Romance. It is Chapter 9, “Less-Wild Lovers.” I wanted to share a significant portion from near the beginning of the chapter to whet your appetite just in case you are finding that despite your “positional” Christianity you are sensing a loss, and trying to quiet your heart and convince it that this is all there is.
“Most of us remember the time of our innocence as the Haunting…innocence not as being sinless, but as that time before our experience with the Arrows crystallized into a way of handling life which is the false self. The Haunting calls to us unexpectedly in the melody and words of certain songs…the smile of a friend…the laughter of children…the smell of a perfume…a story. However the Haunting comes, it often brings with it a bittersweet poignancy of ache, the sense that we stood at a crossroads somewhere in the past and chose a turning that left some shining part of ourselves – perhaps the best part – behind, left it behind with the passion of youthful love, or the calling of a heart vocation, or simply in the sigh of coming to terms with the mundane requirements of life.”
Is your heart “seized with palpable waves of longing and regret?” Are you just living a life of resignation thinking, “This is the way it is, I had better learn to deal with it?” (page 125).
What false comforts and less-wild lovers have you taken?
Here is a partial list of the things I have used for comfort in the past, a way to feel: work/workaholism, achievement in career, church (yes, church), joining groups or causes or denominations, food, endless hours of TV surfing/zoning out, knowledge, control, busy-ness, outward appearance for the sake of approval, people-pleasing, independence and isolation, medication, gossip and hatefulness, self-improvement, lust for learning, drivenness…did I mention control? There are more. Just wanted to get you started thinking.
How are you anesthetizing yourself?
“Walk in the Spirit and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.” Galatians 5.16 NKJV
