Becoming a daughter

Dave Powers, a crazy-amazing God-man (who by some stroke of blessing and favor on our family is also my son-in-law) was leading the HF staff/team in a time of ministry the other day at the office.  He directed us to read through and pray through and DO the Psalms 95-106, I think it was.  I am not sure, because I actually never made it past Psalm 97.

Because of this:

I think it is important that I comprehend the Father Heart of God.  In fact, I set myself to gain that revelation, to finally fully understand God as a Father this year, January 2012 – until I get it.  I get Righteous Judge.  I get that I am a bond-servant, with gladness.  I get other parts of Him.  But the Father, that is inconceivable to me, about me.  Jesus, yes.  Me?  ??

And I have focused on it and read the Word and meditated on it and still: bewildered.  I feel like an outsider, really, usually.  I have been frustrated.  I feel receiver-challenged. And kind of afraid of a God of vengeance.

Epiphany:

So I was reading along the other morning as Dave was worshipping with his guitar and singing away and I got to Psalm 97 in the Amplified-version:

3 Fire goes before Him and burns up His adversaries round about.  [uh-huh – exactly what I am afraid of]

4 His lightnings illumine the world; the earth sees and trembles.

5 The hills melted like wax at the presence of the Lord, at the presence of the Lord of the whole earth.

6 The heavens declare His righteousness, and all the peoples see His glory.

7 Let all those be put to shame who serve graven images, who boast in idols. Fall prostrate before Him, all you gods.

8 Zion heard and was glad, and the daughters of Judah rejoiced [in relief] because of Your judgments, O Lord.

9 For You, Lord, are high above all the earth; You are exalted far above all gods.

10 O you who love the Lord, hate evil; He preserves the lives of His saints (the children of God), He delivers them out of the hand of the wicked.

11 Light is sown for the [uncompromisingly] righteous and strewn along their pathway, and joy for the upright in heart [the irrepressible joy which comes from consciousness of His favor and protection].

12 Rejoice in the Lord, you [consistently] righteous (upright and in right standing with God), and give thanks at the remembrance of His holiness.

OMYGOSH.  Do you see it, too?  I have been standing on the outside trying to see if He really is a Father, my Father, and placing myself among the wicked.  I was reading about His wrath and vengeance and I haven’t been His child.  I saw in verse 8, “…the daughters of Judah rejoiced [in relief] because of Your judgments, O Lord.”

I seriously felt hope, the relief on its’ way.  Because of Your judgements…The judgements were FOR the daughters, on their behalf!  Not at them.  FOR them.

And I realized I am trying to understand everything about Him as Father from His viewpoint and His ways are so far beyond me.  But I sensed a definite Holy-Spirit-inspired directive to start figuring out how to be a daughter (as in “sons of God”), a child of the King.  I totally sensed Him suggesting that I read and meditate on being a daughter, on receiving what that means: relief.  So that I can finally, fiiiiiinnnnaaaaallllly————understand the Father heart of God.

What an adventure this could be.  { For those of you who already get it, please share!  Songs, scriptures, words of encouragement.  Here or by email.}

As a child of God, as a daughter, I love Him and I hate evil (vs. 10), then He does His father-thing: He preserves my life and delivers me from the hand of the wicked – a very my-dad-is-gonna-kick-your-butt-if-you-mess-with-me thing to do.  I have longed for that, so I can quit self-defense.  I am a big self-defender.

And verse 11?  Come on!  I am willing to work a little to get a revelation of “the irrepressible joy which comes from consciousness of His favor and protection.”

All in all, that ministry time was pretty sweet and I zoned in on “in relief,” because I need some.

BEWARE: The challenge to the Word

Watch out for the momentary epiphany.  It needs a good place to grow.  If you don’t tend to it, it will disappear as quickly as it came.  Jesus taught about the seed in Matthew 13:  seeds falling on the roadside and being eaten by birds, or falling on rocky ground without much soil, a scorching sun killing rootless plantings or being planted among thorns which grow up and choke them out.  But seeds in good ground?  Watch out!  In good ground, the fruitfulness can yield up to thirty or even sixty-fold.

Suffice it to say, the HF office is a wonderful place to work with amazing family-of-God, but we also work hard – contract negotiations, odd phone calls, countless meetings.  Just know when the Holy Spirit reveals something, find [create, mix, tend to] good soil for it, because it will be challenged.  And it was for me.  I had the opportunity to lose that Word from that blessed time.  Read: a circumstance immediately caused me to see myself as an outsider to the family, as a servant in the Kingdom, but certainly not a daughter to the King; definitely not a joint-heir with Jesus.

The promised relief, the hope was nearly choked out for me.  My heart threatened to become a rocky place where roots could not sink deep.  That is how the enemy of our souls works.  Just know it and then refuse to let it be.

2 Cor. 10.5 NIV  “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

Then God confirms His love.

My dad called me this morning.  I wish you could know how far we have come, how much I love him and how new it is for us to be able to speak so openly together.  He called to bless me.  He just called to bless my day and my heart.  And he spoke the biblical words of blessing and then told me, “Remember, you’re my little girl.”  We talked and he prayed for me and told me again, “Remember, you’re daddy’s little girl.  You behave today.”  And, feeling totally like a little girl (in a way I never did when I actually was a little girl – a story for another time), I asked, with some trepidation, “But dad – what if I don’t behave today?  Will you still love me?  Will I still be your little girl?”

And my earthly father said to me: “If you don’t behave today, I will love you anyway and I will speak this same blessing over your life tonight that I just did this morning.  You will still be my little girl.”

And just like that, our Father in heaven confirmed that He sees my absolute brokenness and is not going to give up showing me how to be a daughter – so I can know Him as my Father.  Is He good or what?