Category Archives: 6 Looking Back // Memories!

I’m at that age where you have lots and lots of memories. When I am waxing melancholy…

A Love Poem

From my Grandpa to my Grandma {Opal & Everett}  on the occasion of Easter 1996

He was 80.

The hands that paint the sunset,

Fluff the clouds and fan the breeze

Scent the rose and perfect bend the lane

To perfect fit between the trees~

 

The hands that wax the orchid leaf

And light the fire fly’s way

Design the wardrobe, write the score

Fr the birds that grace our day~

 

The hands that create beauty

Blush the cheek and sculpt the smile

Make the warm and tender love to grow

And freshen all the while~

 

The hands that sprinkle diamonds

On the grass and fashion dew

Can purely be no other

Than the hands that fashioned you.

On raising 3 girls…in a row!

I wrote this in November when we found out you were having another baby girl.  Forgot to publish.  This is for you, Rocky & Jovan!

The odds of having one child of either gender are nearly, but not exactly, 1 in 2. US birth statistics reveal the odds are slightly in favor of a baby’s being male: roughly 105 boys are born for every 100 girls. So the odds a newborn is male are 1 in 1.95 (51%), while the odds a newborn is female are slightly lower, 1 in 2.05. This means that, when it comes to a woman’s first children, streaks of daughters are slightly rarer than those of boys.

The odds a woman’s first 5 children will be female are only slightly lower than the odds a baby will be part of the birth of twins (1 in 31.12). Multiple births, especially those of higher order (triplets and beyond), are much rarer than streaks.   SOURCE

So ~ another baby girl, against all odds!

Dear Jovan and Rocky~

You are having another girl!  Yes, Averi had been planning for “a little Rocky” and it would sure be fun for me to see another “little Rocky” unleashed on the world, but from afar so I could laugh and enjoy his antics more (as opposed to running red-faced after him at 90-miles-per-hour and trying to keep his little highness from escaping safety 268 times a day).  Oh, my Rocky, in retrospect, you were a hilarious handful, but during the days of your short little legs and gigantic mullet, oh my, I was pooped, pretty much all the time. Haha.

But before we got you, my darling boy, in 1984 (we dared not even hope), we were the parents of three, beautiful daughters.  Three girls with 4 dozen dresses apiece.  Three girls with tangles and curls and mountains of stuffed animals and lacy anklets and Barbie dolls and lilting voices and fuzzy slippers and joyous giggles.

And three is the big deal, you know.  I have always told you: three is when you know you’ve got this thing.  Or else you lose total control forever, but one day they all grow up and it is all fine, anyway.  But three kids is the parental “tipping point,” in my humble opinion.

You see, when you have one child, there is balance: both parents are there to share the load and care for the little sweetie-pie.  If one parent is sick, the other kicks in one-on-one.  It is all very nice and manageable.

Then you have a second baby.  Still – balanced.  Because there is one adult per child.  It all works out.

But three.  Three is the one that will upset the proverbial fruit basket.  Because if one parent is changing baby and another parent is cleaning up the child who is potty-training and just fell into the stool ~ who {???} will tend to the child who just ran out the door and down the street in nothing but a toddler-sized pair of cowboy boots and a nerf-gun in his hands?  Who, I ask?  That 1.5 children per parent thing does not work like it seems it should.

{You are SO going to be outnumbered now}

So, that you have had the courage to venture into parenting three puts you among the most courageous parents on the planet.  Both of your mothers did it (yay, for Jo and me!), so you come from a land of “possible.”  :)

I always tell everyone that once you have three children, you can add any amount and it no longer throws you.  Have 3, or have 12*.  It just doesn’t matter anymore.  This is because you either become extraordinarily able to handle absolutely anything and everything child-rearing-and-raising brings with it and can no longer be conquered, nor intimidated by them, no matter the size of their miniature army-ness, or you sort of lose your marbles and are blissfully unaware that you have lost control.  Either way, win-win.  So have 5 or 7* or however many you want after you have crossed the three-line, you can do it!

*I am mostly kidding about having 7…or 12  ;)

But here you are, Rock-star and Jovanie: three babies.  Three baby GIRLS!  Three beautiful little daughters in a row.  Just like your mom did, Jovan.  Just like I did before the Rockster and the Storms came along.

Here is what is going to happen.  With three of the cutest little girls on the planet. Don’t ask me how I know:

They will never all sleep at the same time.  If you nap when the baby naps, be prepared for the ornery things the older 2 will be doing while you blissfully rest [Vick’s Vapo-Rub, baby powder, needles and a water-bed….the memories].  It will take 3.76 hours to clean up.  But the sleep will have made it worth it.

They will stay up too late almost every single night giggling and teasing each other and sharing their hearts and making each other cry and talking about what they will be when they grow up.

They will all want to cuddle with you at once.  Or none of them will.

You will go through 862 bottles of hair detangler before they reach 18.  Let’s not even talk shampoo and conditioner, and other beauty supplies.  And, by the way, your skills at fancy French braiding will become world-renowned.

It is going to take  47 minutes just to get everyone properly strapped into their car seats.  At which time one of them will need to go to the bathroom before you can leave.  Really – total emergency.

You can weave red ribbons into long braids in their hair for Christmas and have them each hold a large mic and sing “Come on Ring those Bells” at church because the whole congregation will find your little girls as wondrous and adorable as you find them.  Absolutely.

While you are nursing the baby, watch out for what those other 2 are up to.  Don’t think they are not going to scheme, for the minute you get situated nursing is a great time to do or touch [whatever it is they have been forbidden to do or touch].  True story.

I hate to tell you that I left Tredessa in her little seat in a shopping cart 3 aisles over at the local department store and would not have thought another thing about it until I heard saleswomen oohing and aahing over her.  She was a week old and dad was always the “cart driver.”  But with 3 kids, he had one walking, and holding on, the other in the cart and now…the big, yellow newborn seat needed a space in an additional cart and I … left her for a few minutes.  Yes.  It happened.  Keeping count of 3 kids is much, much harder.  Much harder.  I may have had to use my fingers.

You’re going to have 876 pink socks, but not the same-matching pink socks.  They will each be slightly different and varying shades of pink.  Oh yes, at one time there would have been a match for each, but where those go, no one knows.  Mysterious.

And under every couch cushion will be dozens and dozens and dozens of hair ties and bobby pins.  Count on that!

And of the 368 dolls they collectively own, only about 2 will actually be properly clothed at any given time.

You will see more shoes and small purses and pastel-jackets in your entry hall than in all of Macy’s~  all of Macy’s in the United States, actually.

You will have a house with three little girls.  It will be sugar and spice and every-oh-so-nice-thing and pretty loud and high and songs will peal out and cries of distress over small things, too.  They’ll all want to be as beautiful as their mama and they ‘ll need their daddy to affirm they are. Be the man of their dreams, Bo-Bear.

I had three daughters first, so I can tell you, it will be sweet.  Not every second, but over the long haul of life, you will be blessed by more delicious-warm-cuddly-wondrous-sweetness than any of us deserves.

You have been chosen, entrusted by God, with these three, these little pretties.  And they will be the strong, bold, courageous generation of women who speak and sing out the faithfulness of the Lord to generations you and I won’t ever even see.  You are reaching into eternity x 3.  In pink.

You got this!

Love,

mom

 

Helllllloooooooooooo?

So, growing up in a TV-less home for almost 6 of my very formative years, I was often found, past dark when I had to come inside, poring over the 1940s pictorial encyclopedias some one had given my parents.  Don’t let the word pictorial make you see visions of amazing eye-candy style books.  No – there were thousands and thousands of words and some grainy, black and white drawings or photos at best.

But nonetheless, I found it all very interesting and was especially thrilled when my dad bought a giant 3-volume dictionary set which had basic languages included in an appendix – French, Spanish, Italian, among several other languages like German, Dutch and Swedish.  “Buongiorno, il mio amore,” I was rather fixated on Italian.


Ahoy would have made it all very different.

So, um, yea-I actually DO visit Dictionary.com and Thesaurus.com fairly regularly.  Of course I do.  And I L-O-V-E the cool stuff you pick up there, like how we came to say “Hello” when some one calls us.

I just watched the episode of Downton Abbey where they got a phone in the house.  Delightful.  You may click on the yellow telephone above to find out all about it.

Telephone synonyms: call, buzz, contact, dial, get on the horn, give a jingle, give a ring, make a call, phone, pick-up, put a call through, touch base with

There you go – fun stuff to know!

Freeze-frame

What a week.  A good week.  A full week.  An exhausting week.

cloth ikea doll
Averi & her IKEA doll (all the girls got one).

So many snippets to remember.  So many frames I’d like to freeze.

Gemma & her grand-poppa built a castle

Christmas morning – Stormie bringing us breakfast so we wouldn’t be lonely on our first Christmas ever without the whole family in the house, raising the roof with creative gift-giving and happy-noise.   That is a good frame…it worked.

And then guess what?  They all came later and stayed late and it was messy and wonderful just like always.  :)

tupp-the-puppy
Tuppy catching up on her social sites

Ryan’s family from Florida joined us for Christmas, too.  Then 2 days later, Steph and Tris went for an anniversary celebration and we got the kids and Tuppy-the-Puppy, which made for very merry and bright days, too.

amelie belle
Amelie’s first night ever to stay over with ALL the cousins. She is a big girl now!

Just for added fun, we invited over Hunter and the 2 Rhoades baby girls.

gemma and guini with their relief paintings
Guini and Gemma did “snow” relief paintings with melted wax candles and a watercolor wash.

And the grand-boys and their grand-poppa made this little freeze-frame video.

Using 145 different photographs to fill this 54-second film, we present “Magi This!”  It would have been a longer story, but their parents showed up early.

Now, look around.  What do you see?  Are you blessed, warm, fed and secure?  Has God been faithful up to now?  Freeze the frame in your heart and save it for a rainy day.  Then remember…

It’s 4 o’clock on Christmas Eve in 1970

Christmas Eve 1970.  The light is dimming and it is brisk outside, snow on the ground in Davenport, Iowa.  It has been a year of big changes for the Moslander family.  We’d left my childhood home where relatives lived on every block nearby and moved to a new city to start a church. Nothing like being the new kid and late to start the school year.  Yes, big changes for us.  In fact, we had gotten a TV in October so my dad could watch the World Series (and possibly to cover the sound of lonliness for our family until we could meet people).  A 16″ black and white portable sits on a stereo rack.

As the daylight fades and turns blue then silver-gray, dusk pushing its’ way in, mom busies herself in the kitchen making Christmas Eve snacks.

This was a few years before. That is me reading to the sibs from a children’s encyclopedia. 1967

Of all the Christmas Eves I have lived through (a lot by now), that one in 1970 somehow became the Christmas Eve by which all others, both before and after, would be judged.

We’d moved so far from family and friends and familiar places and things and I was struggling to adjust (and as a kid, these things are hard to express – so you just don’t), but on this night, as it fell, a familiar safeness and warmth settled in around me like a heavy old, rag quilt, the kind of quilt that would have built secret forts and been lots of fun but also wrapped you around in times of sickness or sorrow – you know –  a quilt with which you had history.  That is what settled in – that kind of peace and warmth and hope and all-is-right-with-the-world….

It was nothing fancy, this particular Christmas Eve.  It was just us – my mom and dad and 4 younger siblings.  But mom made snacks for dinner.  There were the annual Bugles (you couldn’t just have those everyday, you know) and a wondrous delight called Pizza Spins (why-o-why can’t I get them today??), chips and dip and hot cocoa – the real kind, the kind that kept my mom stirring at the stove for at least 30 (to 100) minutes as she perfected – a little more whole milk, hmmm,  some vanilla, more sugar now…Hershey’s cocoa powder being stirred and stirred into creamy, frothy submission.   When, oh when would that cocoa be ready??? Then of course my mom always whipped up a big batch of her amazing popcorn.

Oh, I think there were sandwiches, too and candies and various Divinities (there is a reason no one makes these anymore) sent by my Great Aunt Jenny and my dad’s customers on the milk route (he was a bi-vacational pastor before that vogue termed was coined).  But the  hot cocoa and popcorn, the Bugles and Pizza Spins and chips and dip – these were what signaled that this was a special night.

And she served us as we settled in, cozy on the couch, tree lights twinkling away while tinsel fluttered at the slightest provocation, watching the Davy & Goliath Christmas Special.  Then the Peanuts Christmas Special, and who knows what all else?  We loved our TV watching after having gone without!  Haha.

Yes, we were far from family and friends that Christmas, getting adjusted, the big move having changed everything about life as we had always known.  But on that night, all was well.  It was cozy and sweet and I am sitting here writing – so many years later, as I watch the daylight turn blue and ease into silver gray and I swear I can almost hear my mamala in the kitchen popping some corn and stirring away at that rich, hot cocoa.  If I turn on the TV, the Davy & Goliath Christmas Special will be on, right?

It is funny, isn’t it, how one shade of light, or an ornament twinkling or a certain scent will trigger a gold-spun thread in our hearts to pull us back?  My heart remembers…

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.

Guess what???  It just now started to snow…it’s Christmas Eve.  It’s magic!

We rejoice and we mourn

We just found out this week that we are getting a new grandson in February!  Dave and Tara were “matched” with a birth mom this week and they met and they just love her. And she has chosen them to adopt her baby.  And they have chosen him.  And it is wonderful, delightful, shouts-of-praise good news.  The long-awaited promise of the Lord coming to pass.  Hunter is 8 now.  We have been asking God for a baby for a long time.  Tara is such a good mommy and Dave is a really great dad.  The proof is in the puddin’.

Plus, this new grandson of mine (which will make us 4 girls and 3 boys) will only be about 6 weeks ahead of his cousin, a baby girl being born the Rocky and Jovan in late March (which will make it 5 girls and 3 boys).

And Stef and Wrex are having a baby boy come April, too.  Happy dance.

Babies everywhere,  New life.  Fresh starts.  Hope renewed.

We rejoice.

Back: Dave-the-husband, Sharon his sister, Debbie-the-baby-of-the-fam, the late brother, Garry’s wife, Sharon. Front: Older brother Dale, my father-in-law, Raymond Rhoades, and Sandra, the eldest of his children.

Yet, in the midst of it, our nation continues to reel from the devastating shooting in Newtown, Connecticut yesterday.  We cannot, even in our mostly-hardened hearts, not feel this agony.

Then today, Dave’s dad, my father-in-law, Raymond Rhoades, was heading out to breakfast with Ray and Sharon (Dave’s older sister and her husband) in Yakima when he just fell almost directly into the arms of Jesus.  A quick trip to the hospital via ambulance and his heart stopped here while his soul began its journey of rejoicing in heaven.

In those few minutes, when we weren’t sure across the miles whether he would live or die, it was hard to know how to pray, but most of us (Dave and I and the 6 grandbebes and some mommies and daddies) were gathered (there had been a certain little Nativity photo shoot today at Tredessa’s house), we stopped and recalled that just this past summer, when we’d gathered to celebrate his 90th birthday, he had spoken of being ready to be with his Savior.  So we prayed for peace and we prayed for him not to suffer, either way.  Within minutes, he was gone.

He adopted Dave 53 1/2 years ago as a 5-day old boy in a hospital in Topeka, KS.  And now here we are, about to watch Dave and Tara adopt.  Full circle.

We celebrate.  We rejoice.  We laugh and we dance.  But we cry and mourn, too.  And we have lost and we will miss the man who was just here.  Just here this morning…getting ready to go to breakfast.

Life is unpredictable.  And a vapor.

Repeating the sounding joy

Because the angels are, in fact, STILL singing and because some of us need a messenger of the Lord right here, right now, I wanted to highlight this portion of the Rhoades Family Christmas card from 2010.  Because the angels that sang and rejoiced in the sky pronouncing PEACE & GOODWILL on the night Jesus Christ was born are the same angels who now attend to the household of faith!

“Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?” Hebrews 1.14

REJOICE, friends and familia! The angels of the Lord are near. Listen for the song – it’ll be good news for sure.

Now please go back and notice how many times the angels said: Fear not (do not be afraid)!

Thank-you, Jack Hayford, for preaching Christmas up year after year!

 

I hear angels singing praises

Remember that song from the 1980s Hosanna! Integrity’s music???

Oh, I loved singing it.  And I just found myself singing it a few minutes ago as I am glittering up 3 sets of angel wings for a certain Nativity photo shoot this Saturday.  There are sparkles everywhere!

I hear angels singing praises,

I see men from every nation

bowing down before the throne

Like the sound of many waters,

like a rushing wind around us

Multitudes join the song

And a  symphony of praise arises

Tears are washed away from eyes

as men from every tongue and tribe all sing

Holy, holy, God almighty

Who Was, who IS and Is to come

All the angels are crying holy to the Lamb who sits upon the throne.

I think I love this song so much because I was 4 when I first {heard} the songs of Heaven and {saw} the multitudes in the Spirit.  And sometimes I still do.  Call me crazy, but as soon as my breath returns when I hear it (awe-awe-awe), I sing along.

From 2010:

It’s Christmastime.  And the angels are STILL singing!

The old song: http://youtu.be/uFU1VcF1w_c

When Christmas specials were really special

Ah, the 1960s and 70s…

Andy Williams churned out Christmas specials regularly. They are part of the background noise of my growing up years, an easy-listening soundtrack to my life and times.

Obviously at some point I became too sophisticated and cool for Andy’s shows (she says rolling her eyes at her posturing silly-determined-girl phase, before real maturity set in).  Apparently the whole world got over him, too.  For the Christmas specials ceased.

He died a few months ago and I wrote about it {HERE}, but I happened across this yesterday on YouTube (thanks for the suggestion You-tube-robots – you really do get me, it seems) and how delightful!  59 minutes and 17 seconds of  pure, unadulterated red-and-green-over-the-top-joy-to-the-world-sacred-and-silly CHRISTMAS.  Yes, CHRISTMAS in all caps!

There are appearances by the Williams Brothers Singers (Andy’s sibs) and the Osmonds started with Andy, ya know.  Claudette Longet, Andy’s French and oh so very modern and extremely cool wife is a treasure.  She sings.  Lovely!

Hook it up to your giant flat-screen TV and get some hot chocolate and cookies and I promise you will have a Christmas experience like never before…unless you were watching in the 1960s and 70s…in which case you will do it because you KNOW it was wonderful and the best of Christmas times!  A little hokey?  Well, heck yes!  That is why I LOVE it.

It’s the MOST wonderful time of the year!  Just ask Andy!!!

Have a lovely Thanksgiving Day, my friends and family!

The biggest meal of the year.

I find it crazy the amount of food we gobble-gobble up on Thanksgiving.  But there is something so ingrained about it, isn’t there?  I was watching an old movie the other day and they mentioned the Thanksgiving meal: there was turkey and ham and stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry, too.  For all the dishes that come and go, the menu doesn’t stray too much.  Even when we get crazy and add Cajun or Mexican sides (or even go vegetarian), it is pretty hard for most people I know to do away with these traditional fixings all together.

My own very cosmopolitan and trend-setting children by day, at Thanksgiving, are among the most traditional in their desires.  They will gather here today, Dave and Tara and Hunter magoo, Steph and Tris and the three Kelley kids (Guini, as always, will have first dibs on the wishbone), Tredessa and Ryan (this is their first Thanksgiving as a married couple, because the wedding was 2 days after Thanksgiving last year).  Rocky and Jovan and the 2 little girlies will be here and Stormie and Saber-the-German (Shepherd) and The Garcias and Leif (Ryan’s younger brother) will join us, too.

And as I stood at the counter this morning chopping vegetables and mixing ingredients in a quiet, sunny kitchen (Christmas music drifting in from the room where Dave is rearranging every piece of furniture we own to accommodate our little table for 23), I just found myself loving that we go to the trouble anyway.  There is something in the ritual of it, in fixing this huge meal that reminds us of the sacred and sweet and all the blessings we have had and all the blessings that will come to be.  And it is just this bountiful moment in time to thank God for all of it.

In everything GIVE THANKS for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.  1 Thessalonians 5. 18

And standing there, knowing we will have more than we need to eat and eat too much, I remembered all the Thankskgivings of my life (there have been more than 50, now) and how the crowd has changed so much.  All the Grandmas and Grandpas are gone now.  Some of the aunts and uncles have passed, too.  I remember thinking as a kid they were all trying to starve me to death because the meal was never ready “on time,” but when finally we could eat, ooooooh-delish!  Then later: mommy, my tummy hurts, I ate too much (Tara was 4 the first time this happened to her).  How glorious to have all the pumpkin pie I could ever want (and my mom always made THE BEST pumpkin pie, until Stormie came along).

thanksgiving chalkboard

I thank God for it all, the family I was born into and all the times they crammed all of us into tiny house with tables and tables and food and we ate all day long (pre-microwave, people!).  Mostly at Grandma Bakers, we also met Aunt Sue’s once.  But Aunt Rosie’s quite a bit, too…Aunt Rosie introduced me to the romantic notion of one very long table for all of us eat together – no kid table!  I am doing that for my grandbebes now.  They like it!  And I love that the aunts and uncles and all the cousins would descend from near and far because even though we were wall-to-wall people, the importance of all of us together saying “Thank-you, Lord,” was valued.  Stop life and say thanks – this was the message imparted to my heart.  We may not have a lot, we are just regular people, but we are blessed and we say thanks to You, Lord.

Oh my, in spite of their humanness and mistakes and oddities as a family (plentiful, for sure), oh how I cherish the fact that they all helped me settle on the solid foundation that is Jesus Christ.

Then there were the years the extended family times dissipated as grandparents died, and  my siblings and I, with our growing families, would gather with my parents (the new matriarch and patriarch).  The last time were all together for Thanksgiving was 1991, I believe.  That era ended too soon as we were living all over the nation, but we’d always touch base and today I think of each of them with so much love my heart actually hurts.  Happy Thanksgiving, my brothers  (by birth and the one we got when my sister married you) and my little sister and all my beautiful sisters by God’s design (and marriage to my little brothers).  Happy Thanksgiving to the nieces and nephews and to the whole big, colorful family I married into.  Be blessed, I decree it.

in everything give thanks decor cut outs

And how blessed and grateful I am to get to have this Thanksgiving feast with my own babies and their families today.  The little cousins will file away so many details of this day as trivial: running up and down the stairs, playing dress-up, maybe coloring and painting together or playing a board game.  They will eat and eat and be back in an hour for more.  They will go home totally unaware that in 40 or 50 years they will be standing at their kitchen counter assembling food on a sunny morning for a Thanksgiving meal for their beloveds and suddenly the memories in sharp detail, of being at Nonna’s house so many Thanksgivings past, will suddenly rush back in “like waves  upon the shore” and they will, like I am today, thank God for all the Thanksgiving Thursdays family gathered just to show gratefulness.  And they will know that is it good to give thanks unto the Lord.

 Psalm 71.17-19

Since my youth, God, you have taught me,

and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.

Even when I am old and gray,

do not forsake me, my God,

till I declare your power to the next generation,

your mighty acts to all who are to come.

Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,

you who have done great things.

Who is like you, God?

My intent in writing this blog, when I began it a thousand words ago, was to say this (I am so wordy, huh?) in ONE paragraph:  Happy Thanksgiving, from our family to yours.  Like all families, the treasure must be guarded and tended like a garden to make sure it lives and thrives.  We are just normal people with issues and oddities, too.  But today, we gather in His name to tell Him we are grateful.  This foundation is firm.  So, I pray you will be blessed and happy in all things today, just as I am praying for my family.

I simply cannot help being so graphomaniacal.  Just can’t. xxoo

Happy Thanksgiving.