Category Archives: 5 Songs I am Singing

Song is my love language.

Remembering

1 Christ is All, 5 Songs I am Singing, 6 Looking Back // Memories!, Stuff I Actually Think, , ,

“How we remember is as important as what we remember.”  -Brent Curtis and John Eldredge in The Sacred Romance

“We view the present through the pasts glasses,”  -P. Arnold

Viewing the past through the chosen treasure of my heart rather than making a list, checking it twice just so I can remember who was naughty or nice…

I don’t have room in my head for everything.  For most of my life I had a “continuing -calendar” in my head.  You could name a date in my history and I could scroll backwards and tell you, because I could actually “see it” in my mind,  what day on which that date occurred, as well as related events and things that stood out from the time surrounding it.  I remembered every telephone number I’d ever had, addresses including zip codes (and if you know my moving history, you know this was quite a feat) and remembered birthdays and anniversaries for every relative we had, even “in-laws.”

Then I crashed.  I had a system blow-out.  The hard-drive in my brain fried.  My RAM was so full it exploded.  2006.  I became an unwilling recipient of a brain-erase, kinda like “The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,” but also sort of an emotional lobotomy.  It wasn’t pretty.  I didn’t want it.

I couldn’t keep it all, so I had to choose.

I started a trek to retrieve my lost memories: the good ones, the treasures, the fine times, the blessings.  Because keeping a record of absolutely-everything had caused me to melt-down, lose my way, hurt people and feel sick – literally sick.  I have to remember to remember blessing sometimes.  I have to be reminded to recall the good things, the rich, the treasure. 

The ways I want choose to remember:

1.

I HAVE TO REMEMBER With my eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of my faith.  He endured and I can endure, too {all things}, for the joy set before me.  For all the ways I have failed and sabotaged His call on my life, He has a plan to bring me out and set me right.  He is my Story-Writer, my Author.  He knows the whole plot-line of my life and it isn’t finished until He says so.  He will finish my story – I can’t wait to turn the page!

2.

I CHOOSE TO REMEMBER For the joy set before me.  There is life ahead (as there has been so much to be thankful for already!), there is laughter to be shared.  If I look back in sorrow I will miss the present.  The present is a gift.  So, I look back long enough to catch glimpses of the people who still matter and see that we have so much more ahead for us.  I joy in the God of my salvation and thank Him for all He has done and I go forward in that strength.

3.

I HAVE TO REMEMBER LIKE A GROWN-UP… because when I was a child, I thought and acted like a child…but now that I have put away childish things, I can see and understand the past more clearly, with the wisdom of years, with understanding and a heck of a lot more grace.  I can see that my reactions to some things of the past had some immaturity and needed to be readjusted in my heart.  I can, as a grown-up, let some people off the hook, now.  It frees both them and me.

4.

I WILL REMEMBER Redemptively – as part of the good work God started in us, which He is being faithful to complete.  There is a whole love story being played out.  I love seeing how God is able to use the sometimes-shattered fragments of my broken life to create a whole, cool thing.  Redemption is awesome.

5.

I WANT TO REMEMBER Aware of the accuser’s distortions of truth, careful to hear the Voice ( “My sheep know my voice”).  Some memories are torment.  I am asking the Lord to give me clear vision to see when the Accuser has used the past to cripple my present.  And to show me what He was seeing when all seemed lost…

6.

I AM COMMITTED TO REMEMBER so that the LORD might be glorified {the prayer God always answers}!  He is all, everything and I want my life and my memories to bring Him glory.  May He be glorified in my story…

NOTE TO SELF:  Choose to remember the faithfulness of God, the love, the people I can’t live without, the blessings, the miracles, and see even the pain and disappointments with gratefulness for their part in my redemptive story.  And remember, too, that He is the Author and the Finisher of my faith-story.  We’re just somewhere in the middle.  The ending is going to be fabulous!   (Make this a repetitive reminder on my life’s calendar from now until….let’s see…I get to heaven!)

~oooooo~

“…It’s the laughter we will remember, whenever we remember, the way we were…”

Ten.Ten.Ten

2 Mi Familia, 3 Celebrations & Festive Events, 4 Home & Garden/Food & Seasons, 5 Songs I am Singing, 9 TV & Movies/Books & Entertainment, Stuff I Actually Think, ,

10.10.10

Little Obi-Wan arrives

Darth-daddy and the Light-Saber Family

Ten G R E A T  things about today~

  1. Rainy.  Cool and rainy.  Finally like fall.  Gentle and sweet.
  2. Burning my Yankee “Autumn Festival” Candle (a birthday gift).
  3. Baking 10 loaves of zucchini bread with extra cinnamon and a little bit of butter-rum oil in that batter.  Buttered and sweet cream to top it off – too much heaven!
  4. R2-D2, the cake for Hunter Magoo’s 6th birthday party.  Dark chocolate fudge with buttercream.  I doubt I shall ever use a shaped Wilton pan again, but thus, it was baked, iced and eaten.
  5. With ice cream!
  6. Party for me.
  7. Wrex singing a birthday song for me to the tune of the Partridge Family’s “C’mon Get Happy.”  Lots o’ music and memories!
  8. Broccoli Cheese soup (super cheesy and made from scratch!  almost 5 pounds of broccoli, 4 pounds of cheese, chicken broth, cream, fresh onions and garlic, just the hint of nutmeg…soooooo good!)…tomato soup…bread…goldfish (cracker fish) to swim about in hot steamy bowls of kid-soup.
  9. The grand-fish  (real fish) have been visiting for a few days (and I forgot to feed them almost everyday they were here, mea culpa little goldfish).  The house loud, music  and song, food flying, the grandbebes swinging from the chandeliers…having fish on the mantle makes it feel like we are living in a Dr. Suess book! ;p
  10. Time with people I adore:  Dave and the Powers and Kelleys.  Rocky & familia and the Phipps’.  Tredessa and Stormie.  The grandbebes and my mangy dog.

Little Jedis; the R2-D2 cake

Loved my video, too, honey.

Happy Birthday, Hunter-Roo!

2 Mi Familia, 3 Celebrations & Festive Events, 5 Songs I am Singing, Stuff I Actually Think, , , , ,

Hunter turned {SIX}!

Hunter and some of his cousins a couple of months ago

Suddenly the “little guy” in turning in to a big kid.  He is smart as a whip and will talk your ear right off.  He is organized and meticulous and precise.  He saus what he means and means what he says!  And he cracks me up on purpose and quite by accident.  His favorite snack at my house?  A cup full of parmesan cheese and a spoon while he watches a movie. 

Hunter-the Movie

Here is a little project Hunter and I did a couple of days ago.  He was in a dancing mood, but not so much a talkng mood, but still…he is Hunter!

Dear Hunter-Magoo,  You KNOW I love you and miss you when you’re gone on your ministry travels, but I love that you are learning to love the world for Jesus!  Happy Birthday, Star Wars Boy!  Hugs and a million-ga-ZILLION kisses from your Nonna!

Houses

2 Mi Familia, 5 Songs I am Singing, 6 Looking Back // Memories!, 9 TV & Movies/Books & Entertainment, Stuff I Actually Think, , , , , , , ,

“If you move around all your life, you can’t find where you came from on a map.  All those places where you lived are just that: places.  You don’t come from any of them; you come from a series of events.  And those are mapped in memory.  Contingent, precarious events, without the counterpane of place to muffle the knowledge of how unlikely we are.  Almost not born at every turn.  Without a place, events slow-tumbling through time become your roots.  Stories shading into one another.  You come from [stories…events…people].”

-Anne Marie McDonald in The Way the Crow Flies

In Des Moines

  • The basement apartment
  • The Washington Street house, earliest memories

Me at the Washington Street house…on the Anderson-Erikson Dairy  milkbox

  • 1310 York Street, 2 doors down from Grandma Baker
  • 1723 York Street, the first one my parents ever bought (across the alley and one street over from Aunt Rosie)

In Davenport

  • 3536 Jersey Ridge Road, the acreage with ponds and baseball games
  • 5506 North Howell

In  Cedar Rapids

  • the “parsonage” on some street I can’t recall

In Robert, La

  • “the parsonage” on highway 190 east of Hammond
  • with Ginger (and Miss Clara for a few weeks)

In Gary

  • 4995 Roosevelt Place

In Minot

  • Dorm Room
  • Trailer in married student housing park
  • barn-shaped house

In Kokomo

  • 1106 Armstrong Street

In Sioux City

  • Leeds neighborhood house for one week (house had major problems ;[ )
  • Jackson Street-the yellow house
  • across from school, our first house to ever buy, huge!

In Norfolk (don’t ask)

  • N 10th, loved this house
  • N 13th, historical Victorian, loved it, too
  • Park Place, just passing through
  • “orange” house, endured
  • “Bob” Nebraska, torture (not the house, the season)

In Denver

  • Acoma Street house (where we had “Graceland Home School”)

In Brighton

  • Pheasant Ridge, land of grandbebes

There was actually some zig and some zag between some of these.  But these are all just houses.  They aren’t where I am from, though I enjoy looking at them again via Google-maps.  They are just places I lived.  Home is where my heart is.  And where my heart is held with great care

Where thou art ~ that ~ is home.  Emily Dickenson

 


“It’s anywhere I’ll ever go and everywhere I’ve been

Nothing takes my breath away like my front porch looking in”

October Glow

2 Mi Familia, 3 Celebrations & Festive Events, 4 Home & Garden/Food & Seasons, 5 Songs I am Singing, Stuff I Actually Think

“Just before the death of flowers,

And before they are buried in snow,

There comes a festival season

When nature is all aglow.”  – Author Unknown

I am always mourning summer’s end, but really.  Could we have had a more perfect month than September was, than October is?  Fruitfulness in the garden, warm, sunny days and cooler nights?  Slight breezes and swaying branches.  Green grass, blue skies.  I see a little color starting to paint the tips of Aspen leaves out the back door.  October’s glow is golden and warm as I continue to carry in armloads of tomatoes and cucumbers, zucchini and squash.

  

No actual autumn rain, but a gorgeous autumn, nonetheless.  Pie, mmm….and coffee I received in Montana!  Delish!

…I have been younger in October
than in all the months of spring…
naked air late morning
my love is for lightness…
– W. S. Merwin, The Love of October

God bless him, Rocky requested pumpkin pie for his family birthday celebration the other day.  Early cool morning the house smelled of brown sugar and cinnamon baking as yellow and orange sunbeams rose slowly, then erupted into a merry dance and if only I could have stopped time…

 

 Amelie (trying a new look) and her mommy.

“October is nature’s funeral month. Nature glories in death more than in life. The month of departure

is more beautiful than the month of coming – October than May. Every green thing loves to die in bright colors.”

– Henry Ward Beecher

“Where on earth have you been?” the lemon cuke scolded.  She was miffed at my absence while I was in Montana.  “You can see what has happened here, can’t you?”  Yes.  I could and I had warned her of such trickery when the sunflower had perched so slyly in the tomato row.  Yes, he’s offered his shoulder, but just as soon as lemon cuke was entwined, depending heavily on Sunflower for support and tomato thought a forever friendship had been established, he turned his head and bowed out.  Oh, still he is there, less cocky than before and slightly bent over, but he is of no use to them now.  Once the dashing provocateur, now a shadow of the promise. 

Not to worry, I comfort heartbroken lemon cuke.  The birds will soon peck his eyes out. {I cannot help laughing at myself for thinking such violence, and lemon cuke finally gives in with a faint smile…}  The spell broken, lemon cuke returns to her garden square, esteemed and protected by King Zucchini.  Summer has ended.  Farewell, oh dashing Helianthus Tuberoses.  Fare thee well … {the birds really are gonna pack his eyes out!}. 

We took a colorable version of Picasso’s “Guitar Man” and wrote blessings and words of love for Rocky for his birthday as part of the song of his life (this year is all about song at our celebrations…ask Wrex about “Rocky mountain guy”  hehe!)

Today the pool is packed away.

{But it DOES kinda still FEEL like summer…*b i g smile!*}

I have created a new page here at the blog:  HOME MOVIES

Rock on, Birthday Boy!

2 Mi Familia, 3 Celebrations & Festive Events, 5 Songs I am Singing, Stuff I Actually Think, ,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ROCKY RHOADES!

Looks like tonight, the sky is heavy

Feels like the winds are gonna change

Beneath my feet, the earth is ready

I know its time for heaven’s rain, it’s gonna rain

Little boy grows up.

Look at you, Rocky.  My little boy grew up.  The shadow of the child with the thick black hair (mullet) and short legs running zig zags over surfaces and walls and ceilings, I can still see from the corner of my eye at times.  I brace myself when you walk into the room these days – what joke or orneriness will ensue?  Will you tickle me (undoubtedly) or try to scare me (most certainly) and when can I breathe relief as you move on to another target?

 

Rocky with Amelie Belle, September 2010

Oh, you were a bundle of delightful energy, you were all boy-defiant and strong-willed.  You were all the brother your sisters could handle and you pushed their limits nearly every day of their lives and don’t they love you all the more for it, now? 

 Rocky with Averi earlier this year

‘Cause it’s living water we desire

To flood our hearts with holy fire

 

Rocky with Jovan, the love of his life

But before me stands a man, an honorable and good man.  He is rugged and handsome, he is gentle and humble.  He loves his beautiful wife and he dotes on his little daughters, and they sure do love their daddy.  He is strong and gifted, capable, yet unpretentious.  You are turning out, Rocky Rhoades.  You are have turned out to be a wonderful man!  Your mama loves you – can you tell? ;p  Like a rock!

Rain down all around the world we’re singing

Rain down can you hear the earth is singing

Rain down my heart is dry but still I’m singing

Rain down, rain it down on me.

 

 

Don’t you worry ’bout a thing!

Just when I thought you’d drive me insane, when your boldness and courage collided with your young teen-aged hormones and you questioned everything about everything and I wondered if I’d totally missed instilling in you what I’d wanted to, when you were about 13 and God showed me in an instant, as I was walking in to Burlington Coat Factory in Westminster and an evening snow was beginning to fall, that I shouldn’t worry.  He showed me I’d raised a David (your true given name ~ David Allen Rhoades II, and a Psalmist) mixed with a bold, impetuous Peter  (the “rock”).  My heart breathed a sigh of relief, strength to see you through the teen years.

And wow-o-wow, was I ever happy when, within a few days, you said aloud that the 2 people in the Bible you most related with were David and Peter.  YEAH!  Thank-You, God!

Back to the start, my heart is heavy

Feels like it’s time, to dream again

I see the clouds, and yes I’m ready

To dance upon this barren land

Hope in my hands – yeah,yeah

 

When you were just 2 as a ring-bearer in LeAnn and Ron Barnes’ wedding.  With your 3 big sisters.  We were practically our own 1980s “hair band.”  Haha!

Time to dream again!

Then you read Psalm 112 and told us, as a young teen-age kid, no less, that YOU wanted to be that kind of man.  A Psalm 92 man: whew!  What a joyous relief for your mom!  And that IS who you are and the grace into which you are continuing to grow and go towards.  That is your life scripture and your future, Rock-man.  It is your description, you calling, your destiny and your promise!  And because you choose this, I have all confidence in your life, your future.  Go get ’em, Rocky, my unshakable: wealth, riches, light, blessing, good, security, honor and all the rest!

Hope IS in your hands, baby boy!  You can count on it!

Rain down all around the world we’re singing

Rain down can you hear the earth is singing

Rain down my heart is dry but still I’m singing

Rain down.

 HAPPY BIRTHDAY to YOU!

Give me strength to cross the water – Keep my heart upon Your altar

Rain down, rain down!

Give me strength to cross this water – Keep my feet don’t let me falter

Rain down.

 

Do not shut the heavens

But open up our hearts, open up our hearts

Your mama loves you like a rock!

VIDEO:  This is when Rocky took a few months of voice lessons in 2006 so he’d know how to sing it up without damaging his vocal chords.  His instructor threw a recital for all of her students.  It isn’t a worship setting, so there is some awkwardness in the set-up and maybe even a little in the response, but he brought it!  And every time he sings this song,  I can almost see the heavens opening up to pour out a blessing.

Happy Birthday, beloved son.  May the heavens pour you out a blessing you can hardly contain and I hope you just get drenched!  Soaked!  You and your family, too!

Love you, Bo-Bear…mom

Smile, Papasan

2 Mi Familia, 5 Songs I am Singing, Stuff I Actually Think

Oh, my dad ~

First of all, it is STILL hard to believe you had that heart attack in May so unexpectedly and surprisingly!  If anyone could have staved one off by right living and clean eating and working out, it was you.   So, the emergency surgery and 2 stints were kind of a shocker. 

But THEN – to have you become even MORE health-conscious and even more dedicated to eating to overcome any possible cholesterol, high blood pressure or heart disease related problems, only have to have to have a SECOND surgery a couple of weeks ago (because of another impending attack, identified through the chest pains and an 80% + blockage) with two more stints in the SAME artery??!?  Positively unbelievable.

Pictures of my dad I love (I am the baby on the right)

Sorry, dad.  I am sorry you had to find out at this age that you can only do so much and that even you have a body that will eventually wear out.  It has been healthy and good to you for years, so don’t get all bitter on it now.  You and mom have both been the great-health-exceptions in your families and that is nothing less than the favor and protection of God as you have worn yourselves out for Kingdom stuff.

Some stuff I know you hate:

  • That it stopped your busy lifestyle, first for the sugeries and then for the recovery times.
  • That your doctor has limitedyour  activity a little and said you have to go back slowly.
  • That some one else had to mow your lawn for a couple of weeks.
  • That us kids had to know anything at all about it.
  • That even after the first heart attack and your seriousness in following the rules, your body didn’t follow yours {what betrayal!}.  It actually had the nerve to break your rules!
  • And that ^%$#@#$@!! insurance company now telling you they won’t pay the second surgery CANNOT be helping anything.  I guess they’d have preferred you go ahead and have a massive heart attack with permanent damage so they could pay you $$$ forever?  If this insurance thing causes you to have a stroke now (try to remain calm, daddy-kins), I will become very litigious.  Very litigious, indeed.   They better not mess with a girl who loves her dad.

I decided to sing you a “heart song” to help you feel better.

Reasons/excuses I am late doing this video:: Rocky was suppose to sing it with me with his guitar.  I was waiting for a good hair day in spite of Tredessa recently telling me I am having a bad hair YEAR.  I wanted to be strong of voice, however, I tried that today and my poor little web-cam laptop mic can’t handle it, so I had to whisper anyway.  I wanted a camera that could soft-focus me.  I wanted a sound system to make my voice good.  I wanted to actually know the words and the song arrangement…in the right order.  And?  I knew I would furrow my brow in a frown most of the way through…and I did.  DANG IT!  Those are basically all my excuses. ;p

All this to say:  sorry, dad.  Be well and take care, really good care.

You’re a good-hearted man with a hard-working heart and I pray for you daily.  You’re still strong and healthy and running circles around the rest of us.  Don’t worry.  Just guard your heart.  Because I love it and all the rest of you!  LOVE to my papasan!

The best six doctors anywhere
And no one can deny it
Are sunshine, water, rest, and air
Exercise and diet.
These six will gladly you attend
If only you are willing
Your mind they’ll ease
Your will they’ll mend
And charge you not a shilling.
~Nursery rhyme by Wayne Fields, What the River Knows, 1990

§§§§§

P.S.

Oh, and Dear, sweet Mom-of-mine~

YOU made me smile.  A lot.  This week!  Sittiing on our swings on our patios chatting on the phone… hundreds of miles apart {you there in Springfield and me here in Denver} after dark.  Then the sheer joy of realizing  that the very bright almost-full moon shining on each of us was one and the same.  And there we were, both shamelessly and with childlike abandon singing “Somewhere Out There.”  Probably looking like loons to our neighbors.  That is funny!

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Some one’s thinking of me and loving me tonight
§
And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star
§
And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we’re sleeping underneath the same big sky
§
Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we’ll be together, somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true!…

Boys will be boys

2 Mi Familia, 5 Songs I am Singing, 9 TV & Movies/Books & Entertainment, Stuff I Actually Think, , ,

My little grandsons crack me up.  And?  They are my little heroes. 

They helped me put this together a couple of weeks back when they spent the night.  And they have taken to opening the car door for me and allowing me to enter doorways ahead of them.  They are my little gentlemen, my darling fellas.

Hunter is almost 6 and Gavin is 7.  Best cousins, silly boys and my heart!

NOTE TO SELF:  The granddaughters are next!  I can see it in my head and it is beautiful! ;p