I found this from a blog post I wrote in 2008 {click here}.
I and my Third-Thursday-besties were reading and writing our thoughts from A Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis and John Eldredge.
“Once upon a time were Father, Son and Holy Spirit – the kind of home we’ve been looking for all our life” (page 74, The Sacred Romance).
Sometimes it happens, it may be fleeting, but occasionally you get to experience it: rich moments of holy laughter with family, a good meal shared in love while kind memories flow and encouraging words of appreciation are being expressed. And when it happens, you know you are on holy ground. You know you are experiencing something of the divine. You understand the table of fellowship in heaven.
I had one such evening last night. It was the first time we had gathered the whole family from all our travels to celebrate Mother’s Day and the birthdays of my two eldest daughters, Tara and Stephanie. And time and space and life being what it is, you always hope everyone can come in and shed the stress and distractions and enjoy the company, but we are no different than other families. It does not always happen that way. But last night I could sense the joy of the Trinity, the sense of “we are complete,” and “we are one.” I breathe it in with deep appreciation, even now.
Today’s thought: Loving these people comes naturally, from a fulll heart, because they are of me, in my likeness. I absolutely have love-filled thoughts of them everyday, all day long.
And because I am the matriarch of this family, because I actually birthed these incredible human beings, the joy-seed of my love with Dave, I can understand better the heart of God toward us. Because, omygoodness, my heart toward my children and their children is so full of love and goodness and purity and mercy. I haven’t done it all right or even very well (which God of course, has), but whether they have yet realized it or not: my kids can trust my heart towards them. I will always love them. I will always think the best of them. I will always be their biggest fan. They should never have to fear me or rejection from me. So why do I with my Romancer?
“Once upon a time we lived in a garden; we lived in the place for which we were made. There were no Arrows, only beauty. Our relationships weren’t tainted with fear, guardedness, manipulation, quid pro quo. Our work was rewarding, we received more than we gave…We were made for the garden, but now there is affliction also, and that is because we live East of Eden. The Arrows seem the truest part of life, but they are not.”
And in the spring when I put my hands into the soil and help the chubby fingers of grandsons push seed into the ground, it is almost like I can hear God calling me like He once called Adam, “Jeanie, Jeanie, where are you?” He knows where I am, but He asks so that I’ll take stock at where I have gone, to make sure I know where I am…
Today I am adding: I love that time after time, year after year, disaster after disappointment, He keeps watching for the real me, keeps prompting me to look for the me I was created to be, regardless of how much I try to hide from the very One who heals…amazing Love.
Isn’t the great paradox that “we long to be known and we fear it like nothing else“? We believe things about ourselves that aren’t true (Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will really hurt me) and we run from the Pursuer thinking He believes those things are true, too. Yet, His own Word calls us: “…the Holy…the Redeemed…the Sought-after…”
“This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us…” (1 John 4.10).
I am my Beloved’s and He is mine. Here I am, Lord…
Just like with the family God has given me. I watch over them with complete rapture and admiration, so unique and treasured they are to me, as does Father-God with me. Still figuring it all out, that depth of amazing Love towards me. Me. ???