Dear Honey – while I am gone

{{A List}}

Sandy-the-Dog will need special understanding and will probably go into deep depression in my absence.  Be sweet to her.  She likes watermelon as a special treat. :)


The snow-in-the-mountain is in serious need of a haircut.  I bet the electric trimmer would work, though I usually snip carefully by hand, for they are delicate and sensitive souls.  If the mood strikes you…


Water the pots out back each day.  If you see an obvious weed, please do not let it grow to gargantuan proportions – remove it.  But don’t hurt my plants.  It’s a dance.


Water the pots out front every-other-day or so.  Since I sorta forget them sometimes 5 days in a row, they’ll probably really take to you.  Dead-head the geraniums and, oh,  pull the weeds between the mountain  rocks for me, will ya?  Also, on the front, south side?  Make sure the blasted hollyhocks are not creating babies everywhere.  In fact – no matter where in the yard, do not let the hollyhocks bully you around – I do not want to have to deal with a zillion new ones when I return.  I must insist on containment.  This is suburbia!

Obliterate any and all grasshoppers and wasps, but not where bees might be hanging out in search of pollen. We don’t want Mansanto happening in our yard!!! {Booooooooo to corporations that are killing the bees, boooooooooo}

Water the garden squares once daily and watch those baby weeds that try to hide under the real plants.  But don’t mistake the beets or okra or something else wonderful for weeds.

There is a zucchini that is lounging at the base of the sunflower patch.  He likes it there.  Please remember to water him daily.  Even though the sunflowers are probably ok with just the water from the sprinkler every few days now.


Watch the cilantro and the basil.  Lop off any and all flower heads very decidedly.  I don’t want either going to seed (the cilantro can hardly be trusted at this point – so watch him very closely).  Use the leaves for your food.  Delish!


Have lovely lettuce for a salad each day.  Pick the leaves in the morning while they are moist and plump from the cooler night air; rinse and refrigerate to crisp up for later: red ruby or green gem, oak-leaf, even spinach and arugula.  Throw in some of the little peppers.  Eat what I have grown.  It is beautiful and good for you, too!

Honestly, I don’t expect you to aggressively cut back the Russian Sage even though they desperately need to be disciplined, as they are a bold lot and can be quite intimidating.  But I actually heard the assembly of them this morning plotting against me -in front of two grasshoppers, nonetheless.  Please do note if you catch “prolificating” happening.  They have absolutely no morals.  Sage prolification is quite rampant. Tsk.


If tomatoes or tomatillos start really sprouting longs arms, tie them gently to their stakes with the green garden ribbon.  And talk to them.  They like the daily chats.  It is important they know they are my favorites in the garden and that we give our main attention to them.  I am sure they will wonder where I am.  Let them know I will be happy for a fresh-ripe-red-tangy-and-sweet-garden tomato sandwich upon my return.

The fridge is filled with fruits and fresh vegetables.  I hope you enjoy them and they don’t go to waste, honey-bunch. xxoo.  LOVE-me!

PS – One more thing: level.  I would hate to have to make you re-do the whole thing if it isn’t level when I return.  And please-please-please stay in our plan?!!  You know what I am talking about!  ;)

I am off to see the parentals.

4 thoughts on “Dear Honey – while I am gone

  1. Hahaha this is hilarious….and oh-so-you. I’m just glad when you and dad BOTH go out of town it’s not this extensive…cuz you know I would kill everything;)

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