AI=Artificial intelligence

AI=Artificial Insemination (Wrex is trying to make me come to the farm to help increase the goat or cow population or something.  I am simply not ready to hear about what a “jump steer” is and the “collection” of needed materials for artificial insemination, I’m not!)

AI=American Idol – my secret indulgence, my I-can’t-help-myself obsession.  My judge-other-people-like-it’s-going-out-of-style possibly sinful conundrum.

So – can you believe I missed the first night (last Tuesday)?  I had even read the yahoo article (by Matt Whitfield) on it beginning again and all the changes the new show and judge would bring and I still thought it was next week!  But I caught the 2nd night of the season premier and I have to say: I still love this crazy, silly show!  However, this season there will be big changes. 

Matt’s article cited some:

Fewer trainwrecks:  In an effort to bring more credibility to the show fewer freaks…delusional dorks…and [William Hungs] will be featured during the auditions.  VERDICT:  Boo!  Don’t the producers realize that we voyeurs want to see as many sad clowns as possible?  Guess not.

HERE IS WHAT I THINK:  Actually, I (Jeanie) still felt I got my money’s worth on people I could judge and make fun of (not the obvious people – I have compassion on them, of course!).  The show did feel more positive overall, more upbeat and dare I say it, even more encouraging!?!

Character development: With Hollywood Week finally becoming Hollywood Weeks, we’ll actually get to know the contestants and their stories, unlike in years past when the Top 12 could easily consist of strangers.  VERDICT: Yay! Remember when Kelly Clarkson came out of nowhere in the final few weeks of the first season? She had virtually zero TV time until the finals. Blasphemy! Thankfully, that shouldn’t happen again.

HERE IS WHAT I THINK: But I still don’t want them setting my emotions up for me.  Go easy on the sob-story pitches, AI.  I’ll choose those who deserve my pity.

Wild-card Round:  For the first time since the show’s second season, the judges will select the final three contestants that will comprise the Top 12.  VERDICT: Debatable. As much as I don’t trust the public opinion (hello, Taylor Hicks), I think the judges have enough power as is. Shouldn’t the viewers get to hand out the golden tickets? I dunno. This could be very good… or very, very bad.

HERE IS WHAT I THINK:  Hahhhahhahahhahha!  For real – how did Taylor Hicks win?!

Top 12:  With the semi-final round being comprised of 36 contestants — as opposed to the usual 24 — and with the judges determining the wild-cards, the makeup of the Top 12 won’t necessarily be split evenly among males and females. VERDICT: Finally! If more women (for example) deserve to make the finals, let them in! I think everyone is tired of the 6/6 split. The best singers should be in the finals. Not cute talentless hunks (Ace Young), not grandma-selected safe bets (Kevin Covais), and definitely not Sanjaya.

HERE IS WHAT I THINK: I soooooo agree.  I also had to laugh when Matt called David Archulette a Monchichi lookalike!  And yes – NOT Sanjaya!

New Judge: The new kid on the block is songwriter-producer Kara DioGuardi, the mastermind behind Xtina’s “Ain’t No Other Man,” Gwen Stefani’s “Rich Girl,” and Pink’s latest hit, “Sober.” Will she rely on her professional experience like Randy? Will she battle with Simon? Will she ultimately replace Paula? (All parties deny this rumor). Will she tell it like it is and risk hurting the contestants’ feelings?  VERDICT: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Well, at least we hope so.

HERE IS WHAT I THINK:  I really like the new judge!  I think she managed to improve Paula’s performance.  Paula was almost lucid the other night.  Still stupid, but almost normal.  So, good move, AI.  Kara seems like a smart addition, intelligent judge.  I love how she sang that bikini-clad-clown under the table (saw the clip online).

The Matt Whitfield article also noted some rumored changes~

Fewer Themes: Rumor has it that viewers will no longer have to witness pop tarts trash country classics, crooners butcher Broadway tunes, and divas destroy Big Band standards.  VERDICT: Phew! We can handle Billboard’s biggest hits, “songs from the year you were born” night and maybe a “movie soundtrack” theme, but an evening with Burt Bacharach must be banished!

HERE IS WHAT I THINK: The AI median fan age was just announced to be 40.  But Burt Bacharach may be a stretch even for them.  I like him, though.  He wrote the soundtrack of my 1960s life.  What the world needs now is love, sweet love…

Younger Mentors: In a perfect world, Season 8’s finalists won’t have to pretend to know who Neil Diamond is, let alone sing songs from his infinite oeuvre. Same goes for Andrew Lloyd Webber and anyone else with liver spots.  VERDICT: This can’t happen soon enough. Did the producers ever think to invite anyone other than an octogenarian to mentor the finalists? It’s time. It’s time to tell Kelly Clarkson that in order to help her with her comeback, she needs to remember where she came from and make a triumphant return to the “Idol” stage. It’s time to enlist Rihanna and Chris Brown — no matter the cost. It’s time!

MY THOUGHTS:  Dang, though.  I was still hoping for a David Cassidy night.  Guess not.

Yes, I will be watching American Idol for the next 5 months or so…Jeanie

NOTE TO SELF: Set DVR!