Way down, deep inside me, there resides a farmer.

Remember the TV show Green Acres?  While I found Eva Gabor fascinatingly glamorous and interesting, I had to agree with her husband:

Green Acres is the place to be!

Farm living is the life for me.

Land spreadin’ out so far and wide

Keep Manhattan just give me that countryside! 

Were it not for having to be up by 4:30 to milk the cows and feed the horses at 5 and then getting back to the house to fix a big hearty breakfast for all the field hands, if there weren’t so many eggs to collect and pigs to chase, if I didn’t have to plow and spread, and sow and till and irrigate and seed and pray for rain and then pray for the rain to stop, if the weather couldn’t wipe out my entire crop in one fell swoop, if I could be guaranteed the livestock would never get disease or freeze to death or escape the fence I needed to have repaired, I’d be a farmer.  I really would.

Below is one of those email forwards going around.    Made me wish I had my own tractor.

OLD FARMERS ADVICE:

 Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.

Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.

Don’t judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.

Don’t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.

If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.