GIVING IS WHERE IT’S AT, a brain doodle from the noodle of my younger brother, Joe of Aberdeen, SD 

Christmas was coming
My bank account was fat
T’was time to do the shopping
‘Cause giving’s where it’s at

With my mind all full of ideas
And a list a mile long
I headed out to Walmart
To battle the shopping throng

Before I could leave my driveway
My neighbor yelled and waived with a smile
He stopped me dead in my tracks
Just to shoot the breeze for awhile?

I gave him only a short hello
I had things to do, you see
I had long been known for my gift-giving
Everyone wanted a gift from me

I raced along the side streets
Barely stopping for the signs
I swerved from side-to-side down 6th
Avoiding long traffic lines

I was driving like a madman on speed
I was in the zone
Nothing could stop me now
Except that driver on the phone

She was slow and so distracted
She kept a ridiculous pace
Try as I might I couldn’t get ‘round her
Didn’t she know this was a race?

When finally I was able to pass
I gave her a qualified sneer
How dare she be so thoughtless?
She almost ruined my Christmas cheer

When I pulled in to park at Walmart
There really wasn’t much space
People were in a hurry
Determination on every face

Why couldn’t they shop at Shopko?
Why’d they come to store?
I knew I was in for battle
I knew this would be sheer war

No carts were left and space was tight
The employees were in a daze
People were pushing and shoving
The air thick with a greedy haze

I grabbed a cart from an older man
Who had turned his back on me
He shouldn’t be out in this weather, I mused
He looks like he can barely see

I ran the isles collecting gifts
Pushing everyone out of my way
Buying toys and tools and music and more
Ah, this was going to be a marvelous Christmas Day

With gifts all bought and my job done
I was feeling fine
At the cashier I pulled a fast one
I was able to cut in line

With the battle finished and my load in tow
I headed out the door
I chuckled to myself about my shopping skills
This year I had even knocked someone to the floor

Nobody was better at this shopping thing
Nobody gave better gifts
Now it was off to home to wrap them all
With pretty paper and bows and glitz

While driving home I saw a crowd
Watching some people sing
I heard their voices and saw their faces
What was this melodious thing?

They sang of love and of life
And made a joyous sound
I had never heard these words before

But their joy seemed to abound

I know full well what Christmas is all about
Giving is where it’s at
But these people sang about a baby boy…
Jesus Christ…who’s that?